Sheena Save the King
by Kazakh Doom
Summary: Simba doesn't want to marry Nala...OR become king of Pride Rock. So, he summons the Great Kings of the Past, who send a distress call to a very unlikely savior...
1. Chapter 1

Ah, Pride Rock. It's a city of kings...and occasional family drama.

Mufasa, the incumbent king, has dragged his reluctant son and heir, Simba, onto a bluff. From it, they can see a lot of the kingdom. Mufasa would never tell his son...but then, it's just as likely his own father never told him, either...but this is just a small part of the Pridelands. But of course, what children don't know won't hurt them...

"Take a long look, son," he says to his son. "One day, this'll all be yours."

Simba bats his eyes, as if they can't tolerate the savanna sun. "What, the sunlight?"

"No, not the sunlight, you buffoon! Everything it touches! From here to where the shadows begin, you will reign over it all. You will rule over all!"

"But I thought you did!"

He chuckles. "Son? Let me explain. Every king's life is like the sun. It rises and falls, as the sun does by day. One day the sun will set on my reign, and when that happens, it will rise over yours."

"But Mother..."

"I'm your father, Simba!"

"But Father... I don't WANT to be king!"

Mufasa sighs. "In order to hold this title, a lion has to be strong-willed and stubborn. My father once told me of the origin story of our pride. One of my ancestors was a lonely bachelor, who got run off by his pride for being male. Well, he wandered off, and started a pride. But the hyenas chased it away.

"And so, he started another pride. The hyenas chased it away too. He started a third pride. That one got sick, got raped by a bunch of male painted wolfs, and THEN got run off by the hyenas. But the FOURTH pride? For many months before that, Pride Rock had been bugging him. But he finally got sober, and decided to turn his irritation into his legacy. You see, Simba? If not for the commitment of our men, we'd be up the Zambezi without any limbs. And most likely, the hyenas would be the Zambezi!"

"But I don't want any of that," Simba still moans. "I'd rather..."

"Rather what?! Speak up, my son!"

"I'd rather," he turns towards the sky in a romantic posture, "sing..."

Above, the clouds gather. Thunder offers percussion. Here, Simba bursts into song:

_Can you feel the love tonight... _

Mufasa, not impressed, roars. "STOP THAT, STOP THAT!"

The clouds clear, and leave. The music stops on a dime.

"You won't be singing here, Son. Not while I'm king!"


	2. Chapter 2

Farther away, Nala is groomed, by all of the other lionesses, for her royal wedding to King Mufasa's heir. For this, there is a temporary truce between lions and vervet monkeys, who can groom Nala like no lioness can.

Nala still isn't sure why her people hunt vervets. King Mufasa can practically eat one in one bite.

OTOH, vervet monkeys are social... And yet, it STILL seems senseless...

Back atop the cliff, Mufasa keeps assuring his son. Naturally, Simba doesn't seem much more assured now than he was before.

"You are about to marry Princess Nala. Her mother is the most accomplished huntress in my pride."

"But I don't like her," Simba moans.

"You don't like her?!" Mufasa jumps on Simba, and pins him to the rock. "Listen Sangha,"

"Simba!"

"Simba... What's not to like about her?! She's strong. She's brave. She takes chances. She's got big, BIG...chances of becoming a great huntress among lionesses..."

"Yes, but," Simba rolls over, still beneath his father's paws, "I want the female I marry to have a certain," the thunder and dark clouds resume, as does the music, "something..."

_The peace the evening brings... _

Mufasa roars, scaring away the weather and the music. "Cut that out, cut that out!" Mufasa pins his son to the rock. "Now listen here, son. You are marrying Princess Nala, and there will be no dispute made of it!" He slaps Simba in the face...remembering to keep his claws sheathed. He'd hate for Simba to end up like Scar...

With that, Mufasa gives his son some heir. He passes two guards on his way back down the rock: a banded mongoose and an olive baboon.


	3. Chapter 3

Mufasa addresses the High Cliff's two guards. The mongoose seems sleepy. The baboon seems to have a bit of a hiccuping problem.

"You two," Mufasa orders. "I don't want you to let him come down from here until I come and get him."

The mongoose bats his lashes. "Not to come down from here, even if you come and get him."

The baboon hiccups.

Mufasa stops. "No, no, UNTIL I come and get him."

"Until you come and get him, we are not to come down from here."

Mufasa turns around. "No, I want you to stay up here, and make sure that he doesn't leave."

"And you'll come up to get him?"

The baboon hiccups.

"Correct." Mufasa starts to leave.

"We must do anything," the mongoose repeats back, "to stop him from coming up here."

"No, coming down from here," Mufasa corrects him.

"Coming down from here," the mongoose corrects himself.

"Right." Mufasa starts to leave.

The baboon hiccups again.

"Oh, uh," the mongoose bursts out, "if uh, if, if, if uh..." He can't remember his question.

Mufasa roars. "Look, it's quite simple. I need you two to stay up here, and make sure he doesn't come down from here! Alright?!"

The baboon hiccups.

"Oh," the mongoose recalls, "I remember! Can he come down with us?"

"No, no, I need you to keep him up here, and make sure..."

"Oh sure," the mongoose admits, "we'll keep him up here, obviously, but if he HAD to come down..."

"Look, I need you to keep him up here,"

"Keep him up here," the mongoose repeats back, "until you or anybody else,"

The baboon hiccups again.

"No, no, not anybody else! Just me!"

"Just you."

"Get back."

"Get back," the mongoose finishes.

"Right?"

"Right," the mongoose affirms, "we'll stay here until you get back."

The baboon hiccups again.

"And," Mufasa repeats, "make sure he doesn't leave."

"What?"

"Make sure he doesn't leave," Mufasa roars.

"Simba?!"

"YES," Mufasa roars, "MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T LEAVE!"

"Oh, yes, of course!" The mongoose laughs. "I thought you meant him," he points at the baboon. "It seems foolish to have to guard him, when he's already a guard."

The baboon hiccups again.

"Is that clear?"

"Oh yes," the mongoose affirms, "quite clear! No problems!"

"Right." Mufasa starts to leave. Behind him, the mongoose and the baboon fall in, single-file.

Mufasa hesitates. "What are you doing?!"

"We're coming with you."

"No, I need you to stay up here, and make sure he doesn't come down!"

"Oh, right." The mongoose and baboon resume their posts.

"But dad," Simba moans...

"Shut your mewer, you," Mufasa spats, "and groom yourself as if you were going to spend the rest of your life making love to the most prolific lioness in Africa!" With that, Mufasa storms down the ramp off the cliff.

Simba sits alone, sadly. Nearby, the thunder rumbles again. And the music starts back up again.

_The world, for once, in perfect harmony..._

"AND NO SINGING!" Mufasa storms back, and roars. Once again, the clouds roll back.

The baboon hiccups again.

Mufasa glares at him. "And go get a drink at the water hole!" With that, he finally leaves.

Simba sits, and sighs. At last, he's all alone...with two guards. He's still not big enough to hunt or eat them. He thinks the baboon might be Rafiki's relative...but he isn't sure.

Telepathically, he calls upon the Great Kings of the Past. One way or another, he MUST escape his nuptial fate.

A big cloud rolls in. From it, Simba hears the deep and scary voices of many generations of powerful lions.

Simba sends them an SOS. They heed it, and a bolt of lightning flashes.

The cloud rolls back, and all falls silent. The mongoose rubs his eye.

"The winds are terrible up here," he tells the baboon. "I think I got something in my eye."

The baboon hiccups.


	4. Chapter 4

Far away, the jungles of the LaMistas expands for clicks. They're under the protection of an improbably blonde queen.

Sheena, the jungle queen, leads her shamaness, Kali, through the jungle. They're here to investigate a mystical threat to the LaMistas.

For Kali, it's slow going. As often as she can, Sheena travels slow. It's SO hard for her to do sometimes. Sometimes she wishes Kali would just call upon the cheetah gods, and cure herself of her cripples.

"We do not use magic for personal gain, Sheena," Kali reminds her. "And we do not take shame in gaining experience from superior age."

"Do what you will," Sheena insists. "I'm not ready for menopause yet."

They get to the river. Sheena plans to shapeshift into a crocodile, and use herself as a ferry to bear Kali across.

Behind her, thunder shakes the ground, and startles everyone for clicks. Nearby, a flock of crows caws excessively, and flies away.

Sheena turns around. Kali barely stands, fully fried and fully shocked, as she somehow was right in the middle of the lightning strike when it landed.

"Message for you, Sheena," she gasps, as she faints. She's surrounded by strange black markings, left by the lightning.

Sheena runs to Kali's side, and bends over, checking her pulse. "Kali," she shouts. "Kali, speak to me! Are you okay?!"

Kali doesn't react. Sheena sighs, and hangs her head.

She opens her eyes. Around her, the black markings appear to say something. She backs away, and tries to read them. They still don't make sense.

She climbs into a tree. NOW they do.

"To whoever finds this message," Sheena reads, "I have been," she narrows her eyes, "imprisoned by my father? Who wishes me to marry a princess against my will? Please, please, please come rescue me? I am on the tallest cliff near Pride Rock!"

Sheena climbs down. "At last! A call, a cry of distress! THIS could be the sign that leads us to the mystical threat of the LaMistas!" She kicks Kali in the ass. "Wise, wise Kali!" Sheena starts painting herself in mud, disguising herself as the Darak'na. "You shall not have died in vain...!"

Kali twitches, and bats her eyes. "I am not quite dead, Sheena."

Sheena hesitates. "Well," she keeps painting the mud on herself, "you shall have not been mortally wounded in vain..."

"I think I am going to make it, Sheena."

Sheena sighs. "I see..."

She starts to stand. "I think I will come with you..."

Sheena pushes her back down. "No, no, Kali, stay here! I will send help, as soon as I've accomplished this daring and heroic rescue in my own particular..." Sheena hesitates. She can't think of the right word to use for this instance...

"Idiom, Sheena?"

"Idiom!"

"Really, Sheena," Kali implores, "I feel fine..."

"Farewell, great Kali!" Fully disguised as the Darak'na, Sheena charges into the jungle, and vanishes, making scary animal noises as she goes along.

Kali lies on the burned patch of ground, seemingly feeling left-out. "I'll," she stammers, "I'll just stay out here, then, shall I, Sheena?" She sighs, and fidgets. She wonders if anyone needs her help back in the village...


	5. Chapter 5

Over a vast desert full of dunes, a bright sun shines. Various winds blow sand here and there over it.

Like a streak, Sheena runs boldly across the desert sands. She doesn't even have to shapeshift.

Up close, a more translucent apparition of her bare legs dances, as she appears to run in slow motion. Meanwhile, in the more transparent part of the illusion, Sheena runs like a little mouse across the horizon.

In the background, triumphant music plays. It's the same music, from the Lion King soundtrack, that played in the background as Simba returned to Pride Rock, from the utopian paradise he grew up in, while his wicked uncle, Scar, ruled Pride Rock, and let the hyenas consume everything the rest of Mufasa's pride depended on...

My bad; that hasn't happened yet. No stress, though; that happens much later, after this story ends.

In the music, "Sheena" is sang where the word "Simba" was in the original score. This is Sheena's moment; Simba will not crash it.

Or, so she THINKS...

Her bare legs are SO gorgeous. Whoever raised Gena Lee Nolin sure wasn't messing around...

Right on cue, her leather-clad foot lands on a dead plant. She creeps through the badlands that surround the Pridelands, and looks around.

At last, she sees Pride Rock, just over the horizon. She knows she's close. Excited, she charges forth. She stops briefly, at the water hole, to re-disguise herself as the Darak'na...

In the sky, a black woman with white hair hovers over the scene. She sheds a coy smile, and adjusts her hair...


	6. Chapter 6

Nala's just about ready to walk down the isle. She couldn't smell better, and her fur couldn't look nicer.

At least she doesn't have a mane to groom. But then, Simba doesn't have much of one either...yet.

All around her, other lioness cubs bask in the sun around her. They giggle. They seem happy. One of their own will soon be a future king's consort...or, so they THINK...

Rafiki attends to the wedding feast, bearing spices. And it's a great feast indeed. The adult lionesses slayed it all. There'll be enough for everyone...for once. Mufasa usually eats more than his fair share. Many of the lionesses had to surrender to their inner hyena just to produce this much grub.

Near the back of a cave, some aardvarks are digging a hole. Per Sarabi's order, they're burying some of the meat. It seems that aged meat is considered a delicacy among lions. Sarabi presents it to Mufasa every now and then, just to maintain her status as High Queen of Pride Rock.

Maggots in aged meat are like yeast in liquor, some would say. And to think that most humans are more disgusted by maggots in their meat than they are the fact that their liquor is little more than yeast's excrement...

Around Pride Rock, much of the kingdom arrives, to attend the royal wedding. Many of them are solitary animals, who will likely never get to see themselves mating with anyone in their lifetimes. Others are polygynous, and can't get enough mating during the mating season; their own OR others'.

The dik-diks, klipspringers, and duikers, some of the smallest wedding guests, have taken up their rightful places near the base of Pride Rock. Royal protocol demands, after all, that the smallest guests sit up front, as to not block the view for the elephants and ostriches at the back.

Around in circles, gazelles dance to the band's music. They're so playful, and cast such a joyous illusion to all of the other arriving, and present, wedding guests.

The band is groovy, and performs an instrumental of Brandy's "Baby." If only Brandy and a bunch of fly-girls were here to reenact the music video for it...

Just outside the Pride Rock grounds, a pair of ratels stands guard. They admit straggling wedding guests.

They don't seem to enjoy their jobs. But then, if Africa knows one thing about ratels, it's that they only ever smile on the inside, if they ever smile at all. That, and they love honey. If not for that, and the mercy they show honeyguides while hunting for their precious honey, they'd have no hearts.

A female cheetah wanders past. One ratel follows her ass with his gaze, and gawks.

The other ratel feasts on a honeycomb. It's sticky, but worth it. He bats his eyes, and peers into the distance.

A strange shape approaches. It's dark, clawed, and scary. Drums roll in the background...

The ratel stares. The other ratel notices his colleague's gaze, and shares it.

A strange shape approaches. It's dark, clawed, and scary. Drums roll in the background...

The ratels keep staring. They're not sure what to make of it...

A strange shape approaches. It's dark, clawed, and scary. Drums roll in the background...

The ratel smacks his lips, from the honey. The other ratel keeps on staring...

A strange shape approaches. It's dark, clawed, and scary. Drums roll in the background...

The two ratels keep staring. This wedding guest is SO unlike all of the others that've passed through them.

A strange shape approaches. It's dark, clawed, and scary. Drums roll in the background...

The ratel really likes his honeycomb. He lifts it, and prepares to take another bite...

The Darak'na arrives. With her bony claws, she impales the comb-eating ratel, slashes his throat, and leaves his carcass by the entry. She storms onto Pride Rock's grounds. Confused, the other ratel tries to call her back.

The Darak'na storms up behind a pair of hartebeest, and kills the cow. She kills a few other animals, and takes down an eland with many egrets on his back. The egrets scatter. The Darak'na dices up at least three as they do.

She charges into the gazelles, and slays about half of them. They fall to the ground, soaked in their own blood, and the Darak'na's mud.

She slashes her claws, and destroys the band's grass-woven canopy. And, she kills a few of the band's musicians as well.

She's at Pride Rock's base now. She slays a pair of duikers, and charges up a narrow slope.

Many guards stand between her and the prince. With her boy claws and her smug cat-like face, she shrieks, and slays them all.

Within the rocks, Nala still basks in her sisters' and she-cousins' company. Nala can't wait to get married...

The Darak'na hisses, and charges the lionesses. She slashes her claws, and sends many of them to Cat Heaven...or Hell, if they were bad wives to Mufasa...

At long last, she's reached the slope beneath the highest cliff. She charges up it, killing guards as she goes along. Many fall. She gains MUCH elevation...

She finds a cave with a spring. She vanishes into it, and takes a prompt amount of time to wash herself.

Sheena comes out, leather-clad and blonde. She charges back up the slope, and tops the cliff.

She finds the hiccupping baboon. She takes him by the tail, and swings him around like a lasso.

Recalling his orders, the mongoose carelessly points his claw up at Sheena. "You are not allowed to top the cliff while..."

With a leather-clad foot, Sheena crushes the mongoose's skull with a single stomp. At the same time, she releases the baboon's tail, and punts him into the water hole, very far away.

Nearby, Simba sits in an elevated stone depression; it's like an armchair to him. And the chair is MUCH bigger than he is.

Sheena hasn't looked up from her work; she hasn't seen Simba yet. She bows before him, at the base of the stone chair.


	7. Chapter 7

Simba bows before her prince's majesty, ready to pledge unconditional devotion and love to him. With luck, he'll be less pesky than Matt Cutter, the man before him, always was...

"O fair one," she chants, "behold thine humble servant of the LaMistas: Sheena, Queen of the Jungle. I've come to take..."

At long last, Sheena looks up from her work. She sees that the prince that she's come all this way to rescue, the one that she's slain half a plain of wildlife for, is actually a lion cub; cute, but hardly her type.

She stands, and takes a step back. "Oh; my bad..."

Simba stands on the chair, and looks up to her. "You got my message!"

"Well," Sheena stammers, "I got _a_ message..."

Simba jumps, and lays his front paws on Sheena's bare upper legs. "You've come to rescue me!"

Embarrassed, Sheena helps Simba down. "Well, no, you see, I..."

"I KNEW someone would," Simba praises. "I knew that somewhere out there," in the weather, the music starts back up again, "there must be someone who'd..."

Thunder rolls, the clouds darken, and the music resumes exactly where it left off:

_With all its living things... _

Just in time, as usual, Mufasa returns. "STOP THAT, STOP THAT," he roars. "Stop it! Stop it!"

Once again, the music fades. The clouds vanish, and the weather clears.

Mufasa acknowledges Sheena, the human stranger in his son's midst. "Who are you?!"

"I'm your son," Simba reminds him.

"No, not you," Mufasa roars.

"Uh, my name is Sheena, your Majesty."

"She's come to rescue me, Dad," Simba announces.

"Well," Sheena mutters, "let's not leap to conclusions..."

"Did you kill," Mufasa demands of her, "all of those lionesses?!"

"Uh," Sheena hesitates to answer. "I can't really tell you that I did, your Majesty."

"THEY COST ME FIVE LAPS AROUND PRIDE ROCK PER DAY...EACH!"

"Yes, and I'm sorry. I'd like to try and explain everything..."

Simba jumps off the stone chair, and takes up a woven vine-rope, that's lying in a pile on the cliff. He drags the coils to the bluff, and drops them over.

"You killed," Mufasa roars, "forty of my subjects, altogether!"

"Look," Sheena tries to explain, as Simba prepares to climb down the cliff, via the rope, "you see, the thing is, I thought your son was a human..."

"Well," Mufasa scoffs, "I can understand that! A lot of my half-daughters sure seem to take too much pleasure in comparing him to Jonathan Taylor Thomas from your world."

"I wouldn't know. I was raised in the jungle...by myself and my shamaness, mostly..."

"Hurry up, Sheena," Simba calls, about to go over. "I'm ready!"

"SHUT UP," Mufasa roars. "You only killed," Mufasa continues with Sheena, "the bride's mother, that's all!"

"Well," Sheena insists, "I didn't really mean to, it just...

"Didn't mean to?! You stuck your claws right through her! And by the way, how do you handle that transformation? My other lionesses have been wanting to hunt like that since before I started mating with them!"

"I'm sorry about your wife. Is she alright?"

"You even stepped on the bride's back! It's going to take me forever to make amends with the kingdom!"

"Well, I can explain. I was in the LaMistas, looking for a mystical threat to my jungle, when this flash of lightning struck the ground near me, and it left me this message, saying that..."

"The LaMistas?! Are you, uh, from the LaMistas?"

Simba's gone over the bluff; he hangs from it by the vine-rope. "I'm ready, Queen Sheena!"

"Uh," Sheena continues, "I'm the queen of the LaMistas, your Majesty."

"Ah. Very nice jungles out there, in the LaMistas. Some of the best bongo-hunting around, if my lionesses keep me informed right. And kings-forbid if they don't; I give them some VERY fiery love in my chambers, just to make sure they don't keep any daggers under their cloaks that're meant for my back."

She chuckles. "Those daggers would have to be armor-piercing. That mane of yours virtually looks like its own body armor."

"It's mostly a tick haven, I'm afraid. Although yes, I owe the girth of my harem to its quantity, for sure."

"Bongos? Oh yeah; we got a lot of those. Okapis, too. But just to warn you, if any of your wives ever try to hunt the okapis, the jungle law demands that I kill them."

"Sheena," Simba yells, from over the cliff, "I'm ready!"

"Would you, uh," Mufasa asks her, "like to come have some gnus' blood? It's freshly-strained; my wives will heat it up for you, if that's better."

"That's not necessary. I've drank the blood of animals at more lukewarm temperatures." She gestures towards her own semi-royal beauty. "Look at me!"

Mufasa seems confused. "I wouldn't know...but I suppose human men would find you attractive. Although I must confess that most human women I've seen have had black skin, rather than..."

"I wasn't born on this continent. My parents were killed by diamond thieves after they traveled here, and then I got stuck here." She nods. "Yes, I'd love some gnus' blood; that's awfully nice of you, your Majesty."

Simba peeks over the bluff. "I'M READY!"

"It's so nice of you," Sheena admits, "to be so understanding."

Mufasa wanders past Sheena, takes the rope in his mouth, breaks it, and lets it go. Over the cliff, Simba's fading cry meows in distress.

"When I'm in this idiom," Sheena admits, as she and King Mufasa descend from the cliff, "I sort of get carried away."

"Oh, don't worry about that," Mufasa insists. "I always do the same thing when I'm gluttonizing what my wives bring to me after the hunt..."

In their absence, a breeze blows over the high cliff. It gets stronger for a brief moment. It blows a foraging roller, a local bird, away; thanks to the roller's legendary aerial acrobatics, he avoids falling to a very deadly demise. From here, Simba can be heard landing; he yowls, but there are no decipherable gross noises that'd announce his demise...

Zazu might know that roller. Research has it that hornbills and rollers share a common ancestor...whatever that is.


	8. Chapter 8

Feeling much better about how things are going to go from here on out, Mufasa leads Sheena down the cliffs, to where the lionesses are still brooding over the damage Sheena's done. Sheena's in for one brutal reception.

The lionesses are brooding. Half of them have been slain by the Darak'na; cubs too.

"This is where the lionesses bring all the game," Mufasa explains. "I eat everything I want, and if there's any left..."

"THERE SHE IS," one of the lionesses shouts in rage.

Mufasa freezes. "Oh shit."

The lionesses charge up the stairs, attacking Sheena. Sheena retaliates, impulsively, by transforming into a hyena. She bares her fangs, and lunges at her attackers. Shenzi, the alpha female of the local pack, would envy her if she were here to witness...

She slices and dices several more. Mufasa roars, grabs her by her rear, and pulls her back.

Slowly, Sheena shapeshifts back into herself. "Sorry," she pants. "You see? I just get carried away. Sorry," she yells out to the crowd. "Sorry, everyone!"

"She's killed the maid of honor," a lioness cub shouts. All around, everyone yells a similar protest.

Mufasa roars. "Alright, alright everyone, hold it!"

The noise dies. Sheena stands still, not sure what to expect. She just hopes Mufasa has as much control over his kingdom as she does over the LaMistas. Alas, the more times she spends in the Pridelands, the less likely that seems...

"This is Sheena," Mufasa announces, "human shape-shifting queen of the LaMistas! She's a very brave and influential jungle girl, and my very special guest here today!"

Mufasa rubs on Sheena's bare legs. Sheena smiles and waves, shyly.

"She killed my auntie," one of the cubs shouts. Everyone yells another volley of protesting...

Once again, Mufasa roars everyone to silence. "This is supposed to be a happy occasion! Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who! We are here today to witness the union of two young people in the joyful bonds of royal wedlock."

The crowd groans.

"Unfortunately," Mufasa continues, "one of them, my son Kumal, has just fallen to his death."

Below, the bleeding Nala lies on a stone, surrounded in a lot of her sisters', mothers', and maids' blood. She seems let down.

"But I don't want to think that I've lost a son," Mufasa continues, "so much as...gained a daughter."

All around, the lionesses purr with applause, confused.

"After all," the King continues, "since the tragic death of her champion body-building mother..."

"She's not quite dead," an oxpecker yells, interrupting, and nearly ruining, the King's monologue. All around, the crowd coos in amusement.

"Since the near," Mufasa tries to continue, "fatal-wounding of her champion-hunting mother..."

"She's getting better," the oxpecker adds.

Mufasa sighs, and signals for a devious chain reaction to happen. Under Mufasa's secret command, they've been rehearsing this for months, leading up to the wedding.

"For," Mufasa continues, "since her own mother, who, when it seems he's about to recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him..."

A ball python pushes the wounded lioness into a pool of water, where a swarm of crocodiles devour her alive.

"She's died," the oxpecker shouts.

"Who would want her only daughter," Mufasa continues, "to look upon me as her own dad, in the very real and legally-binding sense!"

Confused, the lionesses purr with applause. Sheena stands still; she still isn't sure she likes where this is going.


	9. Chapter 9

With Nala now half-orphaned, and Simba presumed dead, and Sheena having nearly butchered everyone at the quickly-unraveling wedding, Mufasa must make his next decisions with certainty. Potentially, he could have the welfare of at least two territories in the depths of his roar, and the weight of his paws.

"So," Mufasa announces, "it seems that my new daughter and heir won't be eligible to take the throne for a while, prior to my abdication. And for that reason, if any interregnum should fall upon us, I will gladly trust our neighbor, the lovely and blonde queen of the LaMistas, to rule as regent, on our future queen's behalf, until such a time..."

A wind blows through the caves, startling all the lionesses.

"Look," Nuka shouts. "The dead prince!"

A gorgeous white-haired and busty black woman glides in, riding the wind. She's cradling a familiar lion cub in her bare ebony arms.

Sheena narrows her eyes and twists her head, in confusion. "Storm?!"

The other lionesses gawk. Simba purrs, as he rests at ease in the arms of the weather-controlling black woman who saved him.

"He'll never be dead on my watch," she croons in announcement. "If not for me, there would've been a real bloodbath out there; small, but hardly insignificant."

"I feel much better," Simba admits. He happily stares down Storm's chest, cross-eyed.

"You fell off the tall cliff, you creep," Mufasa shouts in anger.

Storm ascends slightly, and lands on a high rock. She keeps cradling Simba, and strokes his mane with her smooth and ebony hands...

"No," Simba purrs, "I was saved, at the last moment."

"HOW?!"

"Well," he smiles up into Storm's gaze, still cross-eyed. "I'll tell you."

Storm winks, and blows a whistle.

The lionesses clear the floor. A springhare, jerboa, and galago come in, and stand in a perfect triangle formation. Someone starts playing hip hop accompaniment. Like rappers, the hip hop trio begins to elaborate on the magnificent story of how the future king of the Pridelands survived what would've been a tragically mortal fall; one that would've brought more than a tear to Hamlet's eye.

"Not like that," Mufasa tries to demand. "Not like that! No! Stop it!"

"You'd better hurry, your Highness," Storm says to Sheena, standing safe out of the lioness's reach. "The song will be over in four minutes; more if they overindulge."

"No," Sheena insists, "it's not right for my idiom! I must escape more..." She grabs a vine, but hesitates. She can't think of the right word...

"Dramatically, your Highness?"

"Dramatically, yes!" With that, Sheena leaps, and swings across the cavern.

Below, the trio loses control while rapping. All around them, the lionesses who can still dance are falling into a similar state. The ones who are either dead or wounded happily tap their paws along to the rap's beat.

Up above, Sheena inadvertently swings, from the vine, like a pendulum do. And down there, nobody's whistling like Roger Miller; Sheena sure isn't.

"Uh," Sheena stammers, "excuse me, but...could somebody give me a push, please? Storm, could you possibly lend a gale?"


End file.
